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does coffee make you short article

Does Coffee Make You Short? Or Awesome?

Heard these before? “Coffee puts hair on your chest!” Or how about, “coffee stunts your growth!” With all the research on health and nutrition that comes out every year, we get to hear all kinds of new factoids all the time. We’ve heard coffee’s good for you, and bad for you. But, which is it? Does coffee make you short…. Or awesome? 

Short Or Awesome? What’s it gonna be?

The idea that coffee stunts your growth has been floating around for years. Who started that? Somewhere out there is the original short, 10-cup-a-day coffee drinker that someone saw all those years ago, when they suddenly decided shortness was coffee’s fault! Could the short person have been the very scientist who exposed this misconception?

analogizes shortness plus awesomenessNothing’s impossible, and fate loves amazing coincidences, but you’ll be hard pressed to find science that backs this up.

Caffeine has been studied extensively, and the simple fact is, it doesn’t restrict growth in any way. Quite the opposite actually, caffeine is routinely given to premature infants to stimulate breathing, and is a mainstay of gym rats trying to get pumped up.

A few older studies found a link between coffee intake to osteoporosis, but recent reviews of those studies cast doubt on the findings due to flawed methodology. Newer studies show that caffeine has little to no impact on bone growth or density. Whatever negative effects there might be can easily be counteracted with proper nutrition with natural sources of calcium.  Pour a little milk in your coffee and you’ll be fine.

Verdict: Awesome

Does coffee make you anxious or awesome? 

Coffee is a stimulant, so this can go either way. Whether you become anxious might be more the result of your own state of mind, but if you are, coffee may amplify that.

Coffee increases adrenaline in the body. In small doses, this makes us more alert, helps us function, and perform better. But in people who are prone to anxiety, the adrenaline boost could increase anxiety. If anxiety is a problem for you, you might want to avoid coffee and use CBD, or another natural anti-anxiety remedy instead. 

Verdict: Depends on you

Does coffee make you sleepless or awesome?

Coffee is a stimulant, it’s definitely handy when you want to stay awake and alert. That’s great in the morning or when you want a burst of energy. But in the evening before sleep, these qualities can become hindrances.

visualizes woman with coffee mug to impart impression of coffee plus fatigue

The half-life of coffee is typically three to five hours. This means that there can still be substantial amounts of caffeine in your system even many hours after you ingest it. Caffeine ingested too late, can prevent you from falling asleep or wake you up from sleep later. Unless you’re looking to pull an all-nighter, you might want to make sure you don’t drink coffee in the late afternoon or evening.  Getting a solid eight hours in is one of the keys to health and longevity!

Verdict: Sleepless

Does coffee make you dehydrated or awesome? 

Coffee is, technically-speaking, a diuretic. However, recent studies lean towards the idea that coffee doesn’t take away any more liquid than it contributes to your body. So while coffee certainly isn’t a source of hydration, it’s net contribution is around zero, so it won’t likely cause dehydration.  

Verdict: Neutral

Does coffee make you hairy or awesome? 

Yes, we’ve come full circle to “that’ll put hair on your chest,” again. It’s something many of us have heard our parents say, and maybe even told our kids ourselves. There is, of course, zero correlation between extra hair growth and drinking coffee (although some hair-growth products do list caffeine as an ingredient).

Maybe parents started telling that to their kids because they just didn’t want kids drinking coffee and bouncing off the walls. The rug rats have enough energy as it is! 

analogizes the awesomeness of coffeeCoffee makes us awesome, let us count the ways! 

Coffee beans help us in more ways than one! Here are a few of the ways coffee makes us awesome. 

Coffee is packed with health benefits

Since it is loaded with antioxidants, coffee can help your body fight off free radicals, which damage cells and can cause cancer. Coffee may also be able to prevent disorders such as Alzheimer’s and dementia.

That’s not all though, a November 2015 study in Circulation found those who consumed coffee enjoyed an 8% to 15% reduction in the risk of death (with larger reductions among those with higher coffee consumption). The implication here is that coffee can help you enjoy a longer lifespan. Other studies show coffee drinkers might enjoy a reduced risk of:

  • Cardiovascular diseases, heart attacks, stroke, heart failure
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Parkinson’s disease
  • Colon, uterine and liver cancers
  • Cirrhosis

Coffee may improve cognitive performance

Not only does it improve focus and make you more alert, it can make your brain work a little faster. It improves memory retention, and helps you retrieve those memories faster, as well. It also improves your attention and your ability to focus. 

Coffee may improve your mental health

The antioxidants in coffee may help to prevent or even reduce mild depression, giving you better mental health. Coffee also boosts your brain’s release of dopamine, one of the feel-good hormones that make us feel happy. 

Coffee may make you a better athlete

Coffee increases adrenaline levels in your body, which in turn opens up your airways to make breathing easier. It can also help increase the blood supply to your muscles, and improve your focus and reaction times. It also reduces the feeling of fatigue, so you can go harder for longer while participating in endurance sports. 

used for humoristic effect

Coffee boosts your metabolism

Coffee helps you burn more fat. For many people, that fact alone is probably enough for them to declare that coffee truly is awesome.

Coffee may make you more social

Fun right? Coffee culture involves social tradition. It’s percolating effects make it a must-have for gatherings and first dates. Sharing a cup of coffee with a friend always gets the conversation flowing. Feeling down? Need to socialize? Ask a friend out to coffee. Who can say no to that? Coffee is a great way to re-kindle old friendships, as well as spark new ones into life.

So what’s your verdict? Does coffee help you be more awesome?